


Terrifying Space Monkeys

by sabinelagrande



Category: Firefly
Genre: Crack, Gen, Urban Legends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-05
Updated: 2006-08-05
Packaged: 2017-10-04 11:12:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are plenty of legends out in the black.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Terrifying Space Monkeys

There are plenty of legends out in the black. Some of them, like Reavers, end up being true. Some of them, however, exist only in Mal Reynolds's mind.

Mal stood delicately on one foot in Serenity's engine room. A single banana, purchased at an exorbitant rate at the last market they passed through, was balanced precariously on his outstretched palm.

"Cap'n?" Kaylee tried, cautiously. "I'm gonna need to get at that engine soon for that overhaul you wanted. Any chance you could do that someplace else?"

"No can do," Mal told her, almost losing his balance. "Gotta stay here for at least fifteen more minutes to make sure the space monkeys stay back." With single-minded determination, he closed his eyes and recited the sacred incantation.

"Mal?" Kaylee's voice broke his reverie. "Hate to intrude, but there ain't any monkeys on this ship."

He sighed exaggeratedly. "And there ain't gonna be. Now, you run along. I'll yell when I'm sure it's done."

Kaylee left the engine room, shaking her head. She rejoined the relatively saner portion of the crew, who had not-so-secretly hidden behind a protruding bulkhead.

"Pay up," Jayne said, holding out his hand. Simon pressed a few coins into it, mouth hanging open.

"How much longer is he going to keep it up?" Book asked, sounding perplexed and slightly alarmed.

"He'll wear himself out soon," Zoe said, laughing reassuringly. "He's been doing it ever since back in the war. Eventually, he feels safe again, and goes back to his work."

"Besides," River told him, from behind the crowd, "they're not very poisonous, anyway."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Terrifying Space Monkies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5598646) by [RsCreighton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RsCreighton/pseuds/RsCreighton)




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